Unbreakable hug

I allowed TB to give me a hug goodbye the other day. I usually avoid this as it is already hard enough to control my feelings towards her. She is going away for a couple of weeks to do something very hard and hopefully quite fulfilling. It is not without it's psychological dangers and I am a little worried about that. I have great faith in her mental and personal resources, but she is a little nervous and that affects me. Regardless, I am very impressed with what she is doing and wish her everything good.

We had talked about her journey and I think the nervousness prompted her to ask me for a hug. It was wonderful! I wish I could do it all the time. Unfortunately the connection that is between us seemed strengthened and I could not get her off my mind. Sometimes this weekend, in moments of internal peace, I felt like she was talking to me. The talk is different from the frequent mental dialogues I carry on with other people. It's more conversational and less 'me'.

I have never felt this way about anyone. I've had several relationships, some very intense, but this goes beyond all of them. I feel she is an integral part of me - that in some way she completes me and makes me better than I've ever been before.

Her conversation satisfies me in the way no one else ever has been able to. I love to hear her thoughts on anything, and long after she has left I ponder what she has said. Her laughter thrills me, and her humor sticks with me and I find myself laughing as I recall the moment.

When we were hugging our cheeks touched, and I said something in a voice throaty with emotion. I can't recall what I said, although I don't think it was significant. What I was really saying was "I love you".