It ain't over

The lights of the city far below felt foreign to us as we drove over the top of the mountain. We'd been in the desert for days and were visiting the city to stock up on beverages before heading back out.

Ad stopped the car and we walked towards a cliff, cautiously avoiding the little patches of treacherous snow. He passed me a bottle of vodka and I drank it straight - we had run out of orange juice earlier.

"Lights look weird" he said.

"Yeah? What about that tree?" I replied.

"weird."

"Blink a few times..."

"oh yeah that's better" Ad said and we hit the bottle a couple more times to prepare for civilization. We climbed back in the car and Ad sailed us down the mountain side.

"It's OK to use the brakes, Ad...". I noticed my fingernails were gouging the dashboard. Ad jacked the brakes and we started to slide, eliciting a whimper from me. Ad resumed our barely controlled fall with a slight smile on his face.

We drove through the city and found a liquor store. Our trunk filled, we found a motel and checked in. Ad flipped on the TV and started making margaritas as I hit the shower. The dust flowed down the drain as I experimented with the various scented soaps and shampoos, finally settling on a nice mix of strawberry and lime.

When I came out, Ad was looking sort of slack jawed and concerned at the television. I tossed the plastic bottle of strawberry shampoo at him "Lets bring this in the car - I think it will mix nicely with the vodka". He didn't try to catch it and it bounced off his temple.

"I think this is real" he said, and I noticed he was genuinely upset. I grabbed a margarita and sat down to watch. A reporter was interviewing a young couple "Are you going to leave the city?".

The woman was in tears "No, we're a long way from the ocean... We have a baby, a dog..." She faded into incoherent sobs.

"What the hell Ad!" I exclaimed. The newscast cut to a graphic of a mid-ocean view. Something fiery streaked out of the sky and hit the water. A dimple formed and then a huge mushroom erupted, full of fire and jetting steam. Ad took a long pull on the margarita "Tonight". He pointed at the TV. "A meteor. That's what happens if it hits the ocean. They're saying it's worse if it's a land strike".

I blinked at him, then looked back at the screen "... waves will race around the planet at 500 miles an hour...". Ad finished his margarita and started on the bottle of tequila. He handed it to me. "We need more liquor - do you have a credit card?". He was starting to look a little insane.

"Ad, you're kidding - this is a joke, right? Like war of the worlds?" I whined.

"Nope, I've been watching it while you were in the shower. It's real..."

I sat back stunned. Neither of us had anyone to call, we were perpetually single. "Reno is only a couple hours away..." I ventured. Ad cut me off - "I don't think the Chicken Ranch offers credit".

I tried "Maybe we should order a pizza". Ad nodded and I picked up the phone. I ordered, then tried to convince the guy to let me pay with a check. He didn't seem to know about the end of the world but he still wouldn't take a check.

"Ad," I started "I never liked Lisa..."

"Yeah, I thought Karen was a hag too. Are we getting things off our chest now?"

I nodded and continued "Lisa was just desperate, and...".

He cut me off again. "You remember that night when Teresa and Tammy invited us over?"

"Yep" I answered "The three of you sent me out for beer on a bicycle, and the cops pulled me over..."

"Yeah." he was starting to grin "You took forever. Tammy liked you when you two met and she wanted to do you. She was really anxious when I told her you were a virgin".

"Ad, you liar. Nothing happened that night. Well, except for the cops - they had a good time..."

Ad was laughing now "Nothing happened to you. I did them both. It was my first time."

I shook my head in confusion "Your first sex or your first twosome?"

"Both"

I looked at him in disgust and envy then looked back at the screen. There was the incoming fireball again, but this time it hit a prairie. Sheets of fire erupted from the crater and endless amounts of dust and smoke. The announcer droned "... the sun will be cut off for years. Experts agree that this will trigger an ice age...".

"Crap. Ad let's go to a bar and find someone. We've only got tonight..."

"Good idea." Ad sniffed the air. "Do you know you smell like a strawberry margarita? What kind of a girl are you hoping for?"

Ad took a shower and came out smelling lemony. I'd turned the TV off.

"Hey, they just announced it's going to hit Lake Superior" I told him. "It's like the worst of both worlds. It'll wipe out all the great lakes states AND put tons of smoke and ash into the air. We're doomed". I'd switched to screwdrivers while he was getting clean and I handed him one.

"Well, you look kind of happy about that." He grumped.

"Ad, you moron, it was a fake. It's a false documentary called 'Without Warning'. You utter twit... Did that really happen with Tammy and Teresa?". A knock at the door announced the arrival of the pizza.

I turned the TV back on as Ad paid. He detoured into the bathroom on his way back and tossed me a little bottle of lotion "Let's bring this lemon stuff in the car. I think it will go pretty well with tequila...".