Mystic Writer

Peeking out to see if there is a real world out there...

Saturday, March 05, 2005

True colors



Earlier this year I was out hiking on a blustery winters night. The wind was howling and the snow was falling crystalline and sharp in the icy air. I walked for miles, senses expanding along with my soul as I removed myself further and further from civilization.

I was following the trail up a long grade when I became aware that someone was out in the night with me, and it came as no surprise when a few minutes later a pair of silhouettes rose slowly from the horizon.

What was surprising is that my senses and soul did not retreat, and in my heightened awareness I could 'see' that the couple had a reddish glow surrounding them. The three of us converged and before we had stopped the woman was already talking about the beauty of the night, the hawks she had seen earlier, the owls that were hooting around us. I was incredibly attracted to the two of them and I wanted to be part of the connection that I could visibly see between the two of them - they had something I've longed for all my life. Eventually our talking slowed a little and we said our goodbyes. I was so energized by the contact I practically danced the miles back to my car.

I thought long and hard about my impressions. Whenever I look at or focus my attention on something I frequently 'see' more than is there visually. Frequently it takes the form of colors, but in some cases it is more of an object. For example one of my best friends always leaves me with the impression of a nerdy pair of glasses. I had known him for quite a while before we became friends, and when I finally got talking with him I found that he considered himself an observer more than a participant in life.

Last fall I met someone who felt like a black and white checkerboard that had been seriously twisted and torqued, so much so that cracks had formed and black was spidering into the white. I do not think the future bodes well for this person, although I wish that that were not so.

In most cases as I get to know a person the initial vision I have of them becomes muddied with more mundane impressions and after a while I can't really 'see' that earlier vision of them.

I don't think this 'vision' thing is unusual. I think we all come up with modes of dealing with the wealth of sensory data our bodies present us with, and my mode seems to be primarily visual. I might be more sensitized to these impressions because I grew up largely alone with miles of nothing to roam in. Or maybe that is all completely bogus and my extra way of seeing things is something entirely different. At any rate...

At the time I thought that I had never seen a couple that had the same 'colors'. Their glows were slightly different but in a way that complemented. All other couples I've seen have little similarity when I look at them in this mode.

As with all things that excite and inspire me, I told it to TB, and she was as excited as I. She has experience in seeing things in different ways and she understood immediately what I was talking about. We talked about this for quite a while and then somehow moved on to the topic of traveling in Mexico. All the sudden I was struck with the rememberance of a couple I had met in a small Mexican town.

I was staying at a wonderful little resort far south on the gulf with my cousin Ad. Ad in his weirdly social way had befriended a man named Gedda, and when he introduced Gedda to me I was immediately aware of his presence. His 'look' was a pleasant gray with overtones of ivory and a total feeling of peace and depth. I was very attracted to him and we started talking. He mentioned his wife Sylvia was also staying at the resort but she was looking for solitude and was spending time in their room or walking south along the deserted coastline.

After a couple days Gedda wanted me to meet Sylvia, and when I saw her I noticed she too had a pleasant gray look, but with a cream tinge. When they came near each other the bond they had was intense - it was as if they were making love whenever they were together. It was incredible for me to be near them, and I spent much of the rest of my stay with them, telling each other our stories and philosophies.

At the time I was at the height of my cynicism and I dismissed anything that couldn't be explained by textbook physics, so I just laughed at myself and over time I had come to somewhat forget about the experience.

Talking with TB brought it all back and I realized that what I want, probably what everyone wants, is to have the connection that Gedda and Sylvia had - visceral and tangible, perceivable by those who know what to look for.

When I first met TB I was struck by her 'look'. It was so intense that for a long time I couldn't even bring up an 'eyeball' image of her in my mind. She is cream with overtones of brown and yellow, maybe just a hint of gold. There is a sense of the warmth of vanilla, and at all times there is a feeling of a gentle breeze blowing.

TB asked the question of whether people who couldn't see these connections could ever find each other, and I replied that I didn't think so. I'm probably wrong, and the fact that few of us ever find someone to connect with is probably just a matter of odds and not perception.

What do you think?

7 Comments:

  • At 1:48 PM, Blogger Kris said…

    I don't think it's either. I think it's a God thing.

     
  • At 4:52 PM, Blogger Veracity said…

    What a lovely blog MW...

    Regarding the question you're asking, personally I think it's a bit of both... :)

     
  • At 2:13 AM, Blogger Nicky said…

    I also see colours and impressions of people – so it seems something pretty normal to me. I think its important to trust your first impressions of people as this is probably when they are at their most real with you before they have adapted their behaviour in relation to you which may account for the ‘muddied’ impressions you describe as happening later on in the relationship. As I see it the first time you meet someone is an indication of how that relationship will continue ever afterwards – its like taking a sample of a slice of time and in it is contained all the clues to how that person truly is. That said – the question of finding the right person without any spiritual perception I believe can be done but the more perception you have the easier it is as you are more likely to pass up on the ‘duds’ that don’t suit you and home in on the real deal more quickly. I think it also depends on how willing you are to work on yourself to strip away all the crap and be authentic and learn from your mistakes – for example like not choosing the same destructive relationship type again and again (talking from experience here!). I don’t think finding someone who suits us is a matter of odds I think its more to do with our beliefs about what we feel we deserve, about what we think we can get, and how open we are to finding that person. When I was looking for the ‘love of my life’ I just wrote down what I wanted in the person like a kind of shopping list, then I wrote letters to this imaginary him nearly every day – expressing my thoughts and fears and hopes as if I had already met him and he was already a part of my life. It didn’t take long before the real ‘him’ came along and amazingly some of the things that I had written in my letters were uncannily true. The first time I set eyes on my partner I felt like I had known him forever, it was as if we had already met – and in a way I think we had on a vibrational spiritual level. The level and quality of connection that you describe between Gedda and his wife I think is available to all of us if we are open to it and allow ourselves to give love unconditionally. That could sound a bit trite, but what I mean is to love someone because you choose to love them not because you have to.

     
  • At 12:38 PM, Blogger anna. said…

    what a fantastic post mw!

    You know, I love public transport, because I can sit down for minutes and just pick up impressions of people. They're probably not even accurate... but when I look at people, things click. Sometimes it's a one word association, sometimes its a category of people, sometimes they remind me of someone.

    I think, at least on a conscious level, it has little to do with what they actually look or behave like...

    When I meet someone for the first time, I just know if we will click. It's unspoken, intangible. It doesnt have anythng to do with they way they move, or talk, or look, because I've had similar strong clicks online.

    The kind of clicks that might have led to long relationships if not for the oceans.

    And because of that first word or image association with that person, we decide if we like them or not and therefore surround ourselves with people we feel we can connect with. I think it's very much an active process, sometimes conscious, often not.

    And out of those people we choose a few. The few.

    But, at least for me, there is that extra step, element of chance that really makes me fall hard. The thought that had these few little things NOT have happened, this feeling, and this person before me, may not exist.

    :) So.. uh. Both then. :)

     
  • At 10:24 AM, Blogger mw said…

    Hi Kris - I'm glad for your relationship with God. God isn't very tangible to me, but much of what has happened in my life would make as much sense if God had led me as opposed to what I currently believe. Thank you for the comment!

    Hi Silk! I appreciate the compliment, and I now agree with you that it is both. Thanks!

    Nicky - Wow! Your comment is one of the best things on my blog. Thank you so much! I'm inspired.

    Anna - thanks for the long comment and explanation of how your perceptions work. It sounds like you've fallen hard multiple times - that is pretty interesting to me. Does that mean there is more than one 'the one'?

    Thank you all!
    MW

     
  • At 9:21 AM, Blogger anna. said…

    mw: you're right, I've fallen hard lots of times. and each time I think it's the one.

    I think we meet people for a reason... not a cosmic predestined reason perhaps, but two people who need something in each other come together. sometimes that need lasts a little, sometimes a whole life.

    maybe the concept of falling in love over and over again can coexist with the concept of "the one". because every time it's a completely different experience...

    some might not agree with me there :) but each new love is a new adventure.

    isn't it magical just to know you are participating in the life of another person more than just an observer? isn't it absolutely fulfilling to dig deep into their subbonscious until you don't know whom the thoughts you both voice out belong to?

    yeah, I'm a romantic. (that's a bit of a "duh" statement)

    But if I had to pick a "one" out of the "ones" it would be someone whose willing to walk beside me my whole life. not the other way around, because there's more than one of that :)

    you bring up such juicy questions, I can't help but babble on!

     
  • At 7:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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