Mystic Writer

Peeking out to see if there is a real world out there...

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Coming home



I look at my swollen hand, still throbbing from being smashed between moving trailer and garage. It looks a bit ominous and I wonder if I'll be centered enough to perform my clearing ceremony. Poison ivy, stubbed toe, smashed hand, the physical damage grows and I know that I'm far from harmony. I worry that it means I'm going the wrong direction but then think of all the small synchronicities in finding and furnishing the apartment, all the friends that have suddenly reappeared, and I know I am on the right path, strange though it may be.

I turn the knob on the stove and love the flame. Too long I've tried to cook with electric burners and I look forward to making my own food again. I hold the sage wand in the flame, admire the blue and red binding, colors I normally have little connection with. It's good symbolism for a new beginning, an opening of doors to new things.

Rich smoke curls up, swirls towards the cabinet and then dips and forms a circle. The apartment is breezy and the smoke takes full advantage of the live air. I've fallen into a profound meditative state, and my hands move of their own volition - right hand tracing the lines of the cabinets and walls, left hand holding a brass bowl inlaid with gold and red glaze, a gift from my grandma long ago.

I hold the thought of my grandma, remember how welcome everyone always felt in her presence. I try to bring that feeling to my ceremony and will the smoke throughout the room. I slowly spiral along the walls, getting to know the space and letting the space become comfortable with me.

I arrive back at the stove and with a final prayer I lay the wand in a vase, companion to the bowl I set beside it.

I pick up a sweet grass braid and push my desire for friends new and old to feel at home in my new dwelling, then with a flourish I tack it to the outside of my door.

This place, this airy space floating in the treetops, feels good. It isn't my home, but it is a place I can grow and open myself to new possibilities. And maybe, just maybe, the home I always have longed for will come to me.

24 Comments:

  • At 12:44 PM, Blogger melodyann said…

    "The home I always longed for will come to me."

    I REALLY, REALLY like that statement, MW.

     
  • At 4:46 PM, Anonymous Pearl said…

    Funny brain of mine, I didn't recognize your name at Michele's. Your body sounds pretty banged up. Got some Calamine lotion for that poison ivy?

     
  • At 4:50 PM, Blogger janie q said…

    hey thanks for dropping by my blog earlier. i can almost smell that smoke, reminds me of the wood stove at my parents cottage.

     
  • At 2:20 AM, Blogger Nicky said…

    thinking of you MW - sending you all the best...

     
  • At 4:43 AM, Blogger Rainypete said…

    A home is what you make of it and it sounds like with you at the helm it will be as warm and inviting a place as there ever was.

    Enjoy it and make it your own, you deserve it.

     
  • At 11:08 AM, Blogger Minerva said…

    Sounds like you are becoming the home that you want to be...

    Phoenix...

     
  • At 11:57 AM, Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said…

    Well written...Michele sent me here.

     
  • At 12:23 PM, Anonymous colleen said…

    I too like to smudge a new home...but I haven't moved in a long time. Be well. Michele sent me.

     
  • At 12:29 PM, Blogger Lu said…

    I love your writing!

    here from michele's

    Lu

     
  • At 12:30 PM, Blogger Melissa said…

    Thanks for visiting my blog!
    You're writing is beautiful. Nothing like a gas stove is there?

     
  • At 12:41 PM, Anonymous Tatiana said…

    Gas stove fire is magical, it is so calming. Watching it and getting carried away into a dream land...

     
  • At 5:53 AM, Blogger kenju said…

    Michele sent me, and I'm going to poke around a bit and read some more.

     
  • At 6:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    A house is just a house until YOU MAKE IT A HOME.

    Mouthy Mom
    www.mouthymom.com

     
  • At 6:33 AM, Blogger Indigo said…

    Beautifully written!!!! I'm so glad I got the chance to stop by. :-)

    Michele sent me.

     
  • At 7:27 AM, Blogger phoenix said…

    MW - I have been reading you for quite a while now and I do believe you are coming around into your own style and center of being. The braid of sweet grass was a lovely touch. I like to burn that when I need to feel peaceful. You will find that you make the home, not the other way around. Once you feel the peace... the rest follows of it's own accord.

    Many hugs and peaceful thoughts.

    The other Phoenix

     
  • At 7:32 AM, Blogger Zee said…

    Hi - Michele sent me over this morning and I'm so glad she did. Your writing is beautiful. Congrats on the new place and best of luck.
    ~Zee
    www.rathnait.net/blog

     
  • At 7:54 AM, Blogger Tammy said…

    What a pretty post. And your pictures are beautiful as well. :)

    Michele sent me!

     
  • At 8:11 AM, Anonymous tommy said…

    Porcupines can be slow, but they will make you regret the day your dog caught one. Gas stoves are better. Good luck with the aches and pains.

    Michele sent me.

     
  • At 8:38 AM, Blogger Miss Cow is a Cow said…

    Hello Michele sent me.

    Hope the hand is feeling better!

     
  • At 9:52 AM, Anonymous BlogCruiser said…

    Very descriptive writing and ouch outside work can beat you up...:( Hello, Michele sent me..

     
  • At 9:57 AM, Blogger Kevin said…

    Here from Michele's.

    Love your writing. It's almost like being there.

     
  • At 12:38 PM, Blogger Minerva said…

    Me again MW....and you KNOW I visit here as I have commented earlier...
    Hope all is still going well..
    Phoenix (reborn from the ashes...)

    Michele sent me this time...

     
  • At 12:50 PM, Blogger Leanne said…

    Your writing completely captivates me, right down to "ooching" and "owing" over your smashed hand.

    Hoping for a complete recovery for you on all counts. I look forward to checking in on you.

    (found you through Michele!)

     
  • At 6:40 PM, Anonymous terrilynn said…

    Wishing you much serenity and joy in your new home.

     

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