and slip

Life without Karen was very different, but it wasn't bad. Thea and I resumed our nightly talks and I found out she had stopped saying no to everyone who asked her out - now she was just saying no to everyone after they asked her out. I started hitting the bars with my friends a couple nights a week and had a lot of time to talk and think about where I wanted my life to go.

I decided to drop out of the internship, stop doing janitorial work, and when I started seeing Karen again I wouldn't stop seeing my other friends like I had before - I needed them to give me some balance and Karen some relief. I was satisfied with my new wisdom and was looking forward to being with Karen again.

Ruth, a friend from grade school that I hadn't heard from in seven or more years called me out of the blue. We had dinner together a couple of times and when I realized she was interested in something more, I made it clear I was committed to Karen. Ruth and I stopped going out for dinner but called each other occasionally just to chat.

The months passed and in November I called Karen and asked her out for a date. It was fun - dinner and a movie and parting with a long kiss. The dating became more frequent and more physical and as the new year opened we were in that same happy place we were before I moved into her house. I was seeing her several times a week as well as hanging out with friends. We gave each other lots of space and I knew she had friends she saw as well.

At the end of January she said she couldn't go out as much and started acting oddly. Whenever I asked her what was wrong she would bring up random things - her mom, her schoolwork, too tired. More pointed queries always brought assurances that we were OK but she wanted a little space again. Unlike the first separation this one worried me and I started to act a little odd myself.

On Valentines day I broke my bank account and gave her a gold necklace with a small diamond - I thought it would thrill her but it made her mad "You don't need to do things like this for me. You should be spending your money on classes". The night just got worse and when I dropped her off it was without a kiss or any plan for another date.

I stewed on that and then decided to stop by her house. I knocked at the door and when she answered she looked shocked "You shouldn't be here!".

"Why?"

She hesitated, then blurted "I've got a friend over..."

"What kind of friend is it that I shouldn't see?" I asked.

She wouldn't answer and I kept pressing her until finally I said "Are you going out with someone else?". The tears started to flow and I said "Karen, this isn't right, we're engaged." and looked towards her left hand. I realized she had kept it out of sight behind the door during the whole conversation and I realized my ring wouldn't be on it.

Frustration boiled up in me and I demanded to see her hand. She turned white and looked scared. From behind Karen I heard someone say "Show him your hand Karen". Karen reached into her pocket with her right hand and pulled out my class ring and gave it to me. I was speechless and again the voice said "Show him your hand".

Her left hand came slowly into the pale February light and to my horror I saw an enormous diamond, glittering from the finger where my ring used to be...