Mating rituals

Last night I stood at the checkout at my local co-op. I had timed my purchase so it would seem natural that I would choose the line that led to the clerk I've been trying to meet.

She looked in my bag at the mass of lettuce, and as she paused I said "There's two heads of lettuce in there" - she nodded silently and started tapping keys - I continued "I'm trying that on the theory that two heads are better than one". The tapping stopped, and she slowly turned and met my eyes, a big grin forming. "That's funny" she laughed and I happily joined in. Her eyes lit up a little "You remind me of my Dad!".

I groaned "Oh my god, no", and, with wings sheared off I crashed and burned. I kept the happy grin, even improvised something that caused her to laugh again.

But I don't think I'll work very hard to get in that line again.

I've posted bio's on date.com and citypages and gotten a half dozen people expressing interest. I've gone out on two first dates and both women have been interesting and fun to talk to. I didn't have any intense feelings for either of them, and I'm pretty sure they felt that way too. In a way it's a nice re-introduction to dating. I had thought I might become friends with either or both of them as they had both asked if I would be open to that, but there doesn't seem to be much of a follow through - the e-mails and phone calls that preceeded the dates largely have ground to a halt. I'll give each of them another call and then decide on what I might want to do. I'm OK if nothing more happens.

I've been exchanging e-mails with a third woman - she is much more intense about exploring the depths of me and my spirituality, luckily something I truly enjoy talking about. We may be headed for meeting on Monday for a walk, and I'm really looking forward to it. I have no expectations and a friendship would be fine.

It's funny reading what I'm writing because I am really missing lovemaking. Making love is a storytelling - the slow unveiling, the gradual exploration, the growing excitement. I love being naked, twined legs and chest to breasts. I love varying the details of the story - coming up with new creations of physical fantasy, and I adore being surprised in turn. As anyone who reads this blog knows I take my time telling a story, and that's how I like to make love. Give me a long lazy afternoon, or an evening as the candles burn brightly down to puddles of wax. I like to take my time, explore every inch, every position. Pause to talk or silently hold. I want that again, and soon.

I guess I'm a little conflicted as to the goals of my dating, but I don't feel too bad about that. I have been blessed over and over again with finding the things I need, and I have faith that something will happen that will work for me. I *am* curious as to when and how and just a little impatient...

So, I've been out of the dating world for about 10 years - anybody have any suggestions?