Mystic Writer

Peeking out to see if there is a real world out there...

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Flying Free



I've been thinking a lot about relationships for the last several months. For a long time all that I wanted was to be single again. I believed I could never really be happy with anyone because the things that I believe and feel just didn't seem to make sense to anyone else.

Then I met TB, and found that there are other people like me, and more recently I noticed a couple I described way back in this post.

It's gotten me thinking about what I think relationships are really about, and what I would like to have if I ever find myself in a relationship again.

I think the glows and symbols I see floating around people are their essence - I think for my purposes I will call it a soul. I believe in most cases a soul needs to work through the body to form connections. I suspect that the souls attachment points or focal points are the chakras, and I wouldn't be surprised if the types of relationships that are possible correspond to the characteristics of chakras. I haven't really followed that line of thought much, but something about it rings true to me.

I think the notion that the soul is trying to make it's connections through the filter of the body explains a lot of the grief I see in relationships. The body has eons of evolutionary programming and often operates in survival mode. Part of what a real relationship is about is giving up some of yourself, and the body fights that notion.

It seems like many of the things I strive for, an orderly mind, greater sensitivity and connection to the deeper levels of the world around me, noble behavior - it seems like all these things could be construed as trying to let my soul have a more pure ability to connect to things.

I think the two couples I've seen with similar glows have somehow managed to join their souls. In the case of the red couple in the park, something about them tells me the connection is not the result of them working very hard to free their souls. The fact that their glows feel and look so similar to me leads me to guess that they are truly the same and somehow meant for each other. I'm guessing this sort of connection is extremely rare.

In the case of Gedda and Sylvia, their glows felt and looked a little different. Hers was a little smoother and more golden, his rougher and weathered toward gray. My sense is that when they were together their glows merged in a way that I can't really visualize anymore, although I dimly have a sense memory of the swirl and interplay. It felt like they were making slow love whenever they were near one another.

I think in their case they had done a lot of soul work. I didn't talk much to Sylvia, but Gedda had a lot of stories to tell of his life and it seemed to me that he had always been soulful but had had a long journey to become the peaceful and joyful person he was at the time I met him.

For the last several weeks I haven't been able to be centered in any meaningful way - it isn't that I'm off center, it's that I'm completely fragmented. In one way it's nice because I'm unable to sustain any long term negative feelings, but I miss my feelings of connected joy and celebration of nature.

On Monday I was walking out in Afton, a park an hours drive from my apartment. The sun was low on the horizon and had that extra tone that makes the greens in the grass look lush and rich and the shadows velvety deep. The butterflies played and birdsong was everywhere, yet the deer and rabbits ran from me long before I could get near them and while I appreciated the beauty I didn't feel a part of it.

I walked in this state for a while, then realized I'd been having a sense of warmth and connection with earlier times in my life. As I thought about it further I realized these memories of feelings were being evoked by the scents of the prairie and wood, and as I breathed more deeply I realized that I'd never smelled anything quite like what I was smelling. While the scent was nothing like vanilla, it had that wonderful warmth that vanilla communicates - something like the warmth of real butter melting on your tongue. It was incredible and my sense of what was happening was that I was being taken care of, therapied, by the trees and plants that I was walking through.

I had an incredible rush of love and affection - I felt wonderfully rewarded and grateful for the gift Afton was sharing with me. I guess I don't know why Afton takes care of me, but I feel the relationship is something mutual, and I think that it is a pure connection of souls.

I truly believe I am one of the lucky people that can have a soul to soul relationship. I don't necessarily need that to have the life of joy and inspiration that I desire, but I think it would add a lot.

I think the reason a soul joins a body is to have experiences the soul alone can't have. I think with a soul to soul connection each soul will have two bodies experiences to draw on - two sets of eyes, ears, and all.

I wrote that latter paragraph without any thought, but now that I read what I wrote I realize I have proof of being able to tap into another persons senses. The thing that held my wife and I together for so long was the physical connection, and at times of intense passion I'm able to very specifically feel what my wife is feeling and wanting. It's a source of great joy for me and I think it creates a lot of pleasure for my partner. I've always longed for the connection to flow more strongly the other way. I'd love for my partner to feel what I'm feeling. I can imagine that if both partners were experiencing each others feelings there would be a multiplying of feelings - not just an adding. Echoes of each other reflecting to infinity.

Whew! I need a moment...

I think I'll end this now - I know I need to wave my hands around and talk really loudly to make any of this work, but I think I may have stumbled on to something. What do you think?

33 Comments:

  • At 7:39 PM, Blogger The Mistress of the Dark said…

    Hello, Michele Sent Me :)

     
  • At 7:46 PM, Blogger Natsthename said…

    "I think the reason a soul joins a body is to have experiences the soul alone can't have."
    Some would say that is the essence of God.

    Lovely post. Michele sent me!

     
  • At 4:48 AM, Blogger carrie said…

    this is wonderful

     
  • At 4:54 AM, Blogger Jay said…

    I've always thought that souls were fragments of a larger, single soul...and that some of those fragments tend to gravitate to each other during life in order to understand itself.

     
  • At 5:16 AM, Blogger Rainypete said…

    I think that finding some compatible soul with whom you are able to surrender a part of youself to is the trickiest part. To feel the needs fo the other before your own is an ultimate communication. Being able to let go of yourself and think and act as an "us" is where the end of the search lies.

     
  • At 7:28 AM, Blogger melodyann said…

    Most of the time, I don't understand all the things that you say, think and feel. But, what always gets me in the gut is the absolutely beautiful way that you describe them.

    To have the feelings you describe, MW, is a reason to get up in the morning........

     
  • At 4:54 AM, Blogger Dani said…

    You are a very gifted person! I wish I could see auras....
    In the case where the glows of two people were similar, could it be that they were two of the lucky ones that had similar souls and found each other?
    It happens!!

    And there are a lot of people who think like you, including me!

     
  • At 7:34 PM, Blogger Atlas said…

    cool blog, and congratulations.

     
  • At 9:18 AM, Blogger Ally said…

    I think you're right about types of relationships and corresponding chakras. I think it depends how people attach to each other - if the heart chakras join, then that's healthy. If there are 'cross matched' chakras, in my experience, not.

    I feel that my relationship with my husband is so fulfilling because our energies are attuned.

     
  • At 4:11 AM, Anonymous Ivy said…

    Wow.. It has left me with alot to think on. I'm visiting via Michele today. She says hi.. I will stop by again!

     
  • At 4:11 AM, Blogger -xtessa- said…

    hi, came via michele's...

    what an interesting post... i do believe that souls had to be involved when i found my husband... he wasn't anything i wanted in a man, yet i fell in love with him. and even if almost everyone around us was trying to break us apart, our relationship strengthened even further... i guess, you could say our souls wanted to be together.

     
  • At 4:26 AM, Anonymous Melody said…

    Gee, that was deep!
    Great post...

    BTW, I am here via Michele.
    Have a great weekend :)

     
  • At 4:29 AM, Blogger kenju said…

    Michele sent me. I think people (souls) are brought into your lifea to fulfill certain karmas and allow you to learn certain lessons. HOw you reaact to them in part determines whether you learn the lasson or not.

     
  • At 4:43 AM, Blogger Star said…

    Michele sent me. I think it's awesome that you can sense people's auras.

     
  • At 7:25 AM, Blogger Cat said…

    Hello Michele sent me.

    I truely enjoyed reading your blog, you have a wonderful way of saying what you feel. Congrats!
    take care

     
  • At 8:30 AM, Blogger Guppyman said…

    And all this time I thought I was happy simply because i finally found someone who was just as nuts as I am.

    (The last one was way more nuts- and I was far from happy)

    Michele says hello!

     
  • At 8:41 AM, Blogger Twist of Kate said…

    Hi, thanks for stopping by my place and saying HI, I'm here and returning the favor from Michele's.

     
  • At 9:41 AM, Blogger scrappintwinmom said…

    Lovely post. Michele sent me.

     
  • At 9:47 AM, Blogger Janet said…

    I just missed visiting your blog from Michele's, but I thought I'd come anyway, and I'm glad I did. Beautiful picture!!!

     
  • At 10:09 AM, Anonymous lu said…

    As always, gorgeous and thought provoking writing. Thank you, MW.

     
  • At 11:04 AM, Blogger Miss Cow is a Cow said…

    Hello Michele sent me!

     
  • At 12:59 PM, Blogger Thumper said…

    Michele sent me today...but I peek in every day, just t see if you've updated :)

     
  • At 1:01 PM, Blogger Brandie said…

    Michele sent me as well... I always love popping in here. You have such a way with words! :)

     
  • At 3:15 PM, Blogger TheBisch said…

    Here via Michele's... love is a wonderful... too bad more people don't experience more often.

     
  • At 5:30 PM, Blogger Indigo said…

    Hello, Michele sent me. Good luck to you!

     
  • At 5:53 AM, Blogger melodyann said…

    MW, I've tagged you for a meme. It's a perfect one for you. Will you try it?

     
  • At 5:15 AM, Anonymous Pearl said…

    Personally I'm divided. I used to believe that each person has a natural soul mate with a rare compatible chemistry. There is an element of that. The thing is people and their chemistry change. Beyond that or alternatively to that, there needs to be a willingness on both sides to unconditionally love and explore each other, a moment by moment choice to trust and be trustworthy by tenderness and seeing the best in the other. That also causes a chemical couples glow but the base is different. At least that's how far I've got in figuring so far.

     
  • At 3:10 PM, Blogger phoenix said…

    This says quite a bit:

    Love therefore—the most beautiful phenomenon in the soul-filled creation, the omnipotent magnet in the spiritual world, the source of devotion and of the most sublime virtue—Love is only the reflection of this single original power, an attraction of the excellent, grounded upon an instantaneous exchange of the personality, a confusion of the beings.
    When I hate, so take I something from myself; when I love, so become I so much the richer, by what I love. Forgiveness is the recovery of an alienated property - hatred of man a prolonged suicide; egoism the highest poverty of a created being.
    --Friedrich von Schiller

     
  • At 3:12 PM, Blogger phoenix said…

    Ooops Michele says Hi and so do I!

     
  • At 7:29 AM, Blogger Zinnia Cyclamen said…

    Hello, I'm here through Michele's comment game. Interesting theory.

     
  • At 8:13 AM, Blogger Agent 99 said…

    Great post...so eloquent and insightful.

    Stopping in from Melodyann's...feel free to swing by my corner of the blogosphere when you get a chance.

    I'll be back soon.

    Nicole

     
  • At 1:31 PM, Blogger Free to Be said…

    What a great post. I wish I could see that. Maybe I will someday.

    I think I came over from Michele's, but now I'm not sure. LOL

    That post really blew me away.

     
  • At 7:54 PM, Blogger puremood said…

    I finally got time to read an entire post! Wow! Anyhoo - this is a great entry! I totally agree that two souls join and experience what one soul can't, alone. Which, I also believe, is the power and love of God. My think I have my "soul" mate... Thank God :)

    Michele sent me back via M&G :)

     

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