Driven by spirit

When I have a choice of where to walk, I purposefully decide not to decide - I know, hopeless mumbo-jumbo. What this means is that in the time leading up to the walk, I think something like "I'm going for a walk tonight" and then clear my mind of everything. Sometimes the destination becomes readily apparent as the feeling of a place manifests itself in my consciousness. Other times nothing becomes clear and I'll simply get in the car and try to sense how I feel as I come to intersections.

At any rate, last night I had the strongest hankering to go to a very specific park - there was absolutely never any doubt, and so I was astounded when I got there to find that the normally quiet and empty ski resort that abutts the park was screaming jets of snow into the air. The cacophony was overwhelming and my stomach twisted in stress. There was no alternative park that I could reasonably get to and I still felt that this was the place to be, so I set off on my walk, wilting at the disruption of my beloved solitude.

The ski resort is contained in a valley, and when I had gotten a bit over a mile away the noise was no longer intrusive. The sun set, a subtle shading of dusky orange backlighting bony trees way off on the horizon, and then slowly the stars popped out.

I made my wish for WV, and then for lifelong happiness for my wife and children, and then I wished that TB could see me completely - every thought I have, every feeling I've experienced, every dimension of my soul. ...I added a clause that this only come true if it would make TB happy (somewhere inside me there is a lawyer that needs exterminating). This latter wish had power and I could feel it spread out from my presence. I have no idea if it will affect TB, but it certainly affects me.

I angled along the edges of a prairie on a plateau above a river. The owls were hooting and I could hear the little noises of animals bedding down in the grass. My view stretched for miles and as the sun set fully I could easily make out the 5 brightest stars of the Pleiades. My eyes had fully adjusted to the dark and I was striding along, enjoying the heavens and the feel of the earth. My path circled until I was facing back towards the ski resort and much to my horror I found they had turned on all their lights, several of which were shining right in my eyes. Even miles away it completely wiped out my night vision and I was dismayingly blind.

I decided to loop down to a section of the park where I rarely go, as the path descends a ravine and then curves to follow the river and during the summer this path is largely cut off from everything because of the density of foliage. This is not true in November and I had stunning views of the river and the sky. Again, fate had not played me false.

I walked the several miles back to the car enjoying the below freezing air and moving briskly to keep my now sweat soaked clothing from turning to ice. The path rounded a corner and as I climbed a valley wall to get to my car the noise from the ski resort began to build. At my car I could look down into the ski valley and it was lovely in a mechanistic way, with the bright lights illuminating the jets of snow and mist.

I took my jacket off and then removed my shirt, twisting my head up to slide the shirt over my glasses. My glasses fogged momentarily and when they cleared I could see a ghostly crescent illuminated high above the ski valley.

I blinked in disbelief, and as the crescent floated closer I realized it was an enormous flock of pale birds flying high in the night. When they passed directly overhead I heard the birds calling and the loony flute and trumpet sound made me think of cranes. The beauty of it swept me away and it was only the freezing of my naked upper half that pulled me back.

I am so constantly rewarded by trusting in fate - this is a recent realization for me, and it has brought great hope for my future and great joy to my present...